Control

Why is it some people tend to like to control other people? I’m a control freak but while there are some things I would love to change about people I wouldn’t say I try to control anyone (I’m too busy trying to control my own life)

My boss for example, I recently requested a change in working hours, the business is quiet and I have quite a bit going on so it would be nice to finish a couple of hours early on a temporary basis. I was thinking I could use that time to maybe go to the gym, cook a meal (as the Mr seems to have to cook all the time) and obviously finishing early will give me more time to spend with the little miss before she’s off to bed. I explained all this in my request as I wanted to be honest with him why I wanted to change my hours.

Oh no he couldn’t agree to the early finish, he could however authorise later starts. Perfect some may say but as I’m the one doing the school run what can I actually do with 50 minutes? He is fully aware that I do the school run so it’s not like his thinking I can use the extra time as I intended. Where we live I’m not going to be able to run any errands, have any medical appointments, go to the gym ect. I could maybe at a push walk the dogs for half an hour.

He is the Director of the company so its not a line manager. There have been other aspects of my working and personal life he has tried to control in the past. Just small little things like when we were returning from lockdown he made sure my working days were as inconvenient as possible for me to work around my personal life. He calls me and messages me outside of work which I don’t mind a lot of the time but if I don’t answer he will persistently call. I was preparing to hand in my notice at the start of the year or at least to cut my hours back but I kept putting it off (luckily I did as lockdown and furlough happened).

I’ve seen him do it with other staff too, when for example someone wants to move to set shifts to fit around their family and I can see its possible to do but his adamant that its not possible for the business. There is also no reason what so ever that I can’t finish early. He also refused to put it in writing so he is fully aware his wrong.

With the current climate there is not much around job wise so its not like I can just jump ship. Also I’ve been here a long time so clearly I have the security that you get after being in a job for two years. Plus I actually love my job 90% of the time so why should I have to leave just because at times he can be an ass………………………………

Why are people like this? What gratification do they get from it?

I know I have it easier than most when it comes to work so I can’t moan, its just frustrating that something as simple as changing my hours seems to be a major negotiation. In fact its not even a negotiation its his way or no way. I suppose at least I’ll get 50 minutes to myself, I should count myself lucky not many people even get that.

I needed that time to recharge myself and work on me, unfortunately I’m not going to get that now however I’m still going to make those 50 minutes work to my advantage.